It Seems My Lonely Days Are Through
by five-x-vanya
Summary: Sadly…Just like any other promise…It was made to be broken… Just when Vanya felt that she could rely on Five forever, she knew deep down that he always wanted to time-travel. She just didn't know that he'd say something to their father so soon...


Another day of being left behind. Another point added to her mental scoreboard. Then, this oh so familiar emotion entered her mind. This feeling of being unwanted…unloved…unneeded… No one needed her around. No one _wanted _her around. And eventually, that feeling became her true companion. Her insecurities heightened. A sad smile became a permanent one. No longer did she wanted to smile because she's happy but smile to get unwanted questions from a certain someone. Out of all of her siblings, Vanya only cared about having certain judgmental stares from her brother, Five. Ever since he'd grown to trust her with his innermost worries and problems, Vanya didn't want to disappoint him nor worry him with her own personal issues.

So…just like any other – normal – adolescent…she buried them deep within her psyche and called it a day. As long as Five had someone to vent his problems too, then Vanya was content with bottling up her emotions. Maybe her father giving those pills was a blessing in disguise. It helped suppressed her emotions – her feelings – a lot easier. Though, not enough for her to become this emotionless robot. That's when Five would raise a few questions and more than likely lash out on either their father, their siblings, or a combination of both. And she didn't want that. There's already a tiny riff between Five and her and the rest of the family. She didn't want it to worsen.

Just like with any family…

They needed each other…

They may not need each other right this moment but eventually they would.

It's only a matter of seconds…

Taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling, Vanya mustered all of her remaining mental strength to compose herself. She took a glance at the clock, knowing that just like the previous days, her siblings would be returning from their afternoon training session shortly. She didn't want her siblings, specifically Five, to see her cheeks stained with tears. Her eyes almost bloodshot from the number of tears that trickled down the sides of her precious face.

No. She needed to be strong. Unbothered by the constant ridicule and reminder that she's simply ordinary. There's nothing special about her.

With a few more breaths. Vanya managed to compose herself. A somber expression appeared on her face as she picked up her violin, that rested against the couch she had been sitting on. She positioned the violin underneath her chin and against her shoulder. Then, she positioned both the bow and her fingers. Her eyes focused on the sheet music before her. With one final breath, releasing any emotions that threatened to spill out, Vanya began playing. The first few notes were light, almost energetic, Then, it became eerie. Practically haunting as the sounds of rushing footsteps echoed throughout the foyer.

Yup. Like clockwork.

"New song?" The violinist heard Klaus ask. A rare interaction whenever he needed a distraction from his ghoulish friends.

The corners of her lips quirked up as Vanya nodded, continuing to play the beautiful musical piece. Shortly, she became lost to the music. This feeling of tranquility consumed her as she executed each section perfectly. Even her brother, Diego, complimented her playing, and that's extremely rare. He almost never said anything nice to her. Unless Five managed to persuade Diego to apologize for being an asshole.

She'd always appreciate it when Five came to her protection. With him around, she's able to lower her shields but even then, it didn't last long. She'd soon remember what her father, Reginald, had _discussed _with her weeks prior.

"_I told you, Number Seven, I do not want you interfering with your siblings training. They already have enough on their minds and do not need their ordinary sister getting in the way…" _

God. She honestly lost count how many times she'd been called ordinary by her dear old dad. She could fill up a jar with how much she'd been called that. That's how bad it was. That's how much it's instilled in her precious mind.

She's just plain…old…

"I know that look. What did our asshole of a father say to you now?" An oh so familiar voice interrupted her train of thought. Her body flinched as she didn't expect someone to linger around. And because of that, she accidentally played a few sour notes, causing both her and the other person to wince. Their poor ears.

Vanya then removed the violin from her shoulder and hugged it against her chest. She swiveled her body around and came face-to-face with Five. The one sibling she didn't want to see right this second.

"It's nothing, Five." She said shortly before gently placing her violin back in its case and locking it. "I'll see you at dinner." She quickly added, brushing past him and heading to her sanctuary. Her safe haven. Her room.

His brows became knitted together. He drew his lower lip between his teeth as confusion glazed over his eyes. He couldn't help but follow her retreating body, wondering if he had done something to cause such a strange reaction.

Had he unintentionally lashed out on her and forget to apologize? No, because he had been _always _careful to never take his frustrations on her. Luther and Diego? Yes. Vanya? Never.

Did he forget about an important secret meeting between? Nah. That couldn't be it as he _personally _scheduled them with her. He constantly found himself needing her calm presence. Never vice-versa.

So, why did she run away from him? Why did his heart ache a little as she quickly dismissed his act of concern?

Then, thanks to his highly intelligent brain, Five soon realized that it had to do with the monster that they had to unfortunately call, "father". He felt like an imbecile for not putting the puzzle pieces together sooner. Five wasn't blind. He knew that there's indeed a sudden change within Vanya. He just either didn't have the time to talk to her about it or weren't able to get some valuable alone time with her. He had been preoccupied with his spatial jump training or working on how to perfect the act of time-travel. Reginald recommended that he practice his spatial jumping, then Five could learn how to time-travel. Yet week after week, Five had yet to see a change in his training regimen. That only pissed him off even more. Now, the icing on the cake was when he noticed a bigger separation between him and Vanya. She'd either be by Reginald's side or doing her own thing around the time he and the rest of their siblings are training or on a mission.

He rarely had the chance to hang around her and enjoy her presence. Shit. He started to forget how it felt to hug her. How her body fitted perfectly against his. How, right now, they were at a perfect height that complimented one another.

A faint scoff escaped his lips as an amused smirk slowly appeared on his lips. Five found his thoughts to be quite humorous.

"So…this is what a love sick teen feels like…" He thought, shaking his head as he stuffed his hands inside his pockets. Then, his gaze focused on the grandfather clock nearby. He noted the time and quickly calculated if he had enough time to have some much needed one-on-one time with his beloved Vanya.

Luckily…

He did…

Without a second to lose, he activated his spatial jumping, teleporting himself in the hallway that led to his and his siblings' bedrooms. He remained still; his ears listened for any sounds that could indicate that someone would be leaving their room. Though, he doubted it as his siblings liked to lock themselves away to obtain a moment of peace. They practically spent every single day with each other. A few hours without being in the presence of another wouldn't kill them.

Five waited a few more seconds before teleporting himself in front of Vanya's room. Then, just as he raised his hand to politely knock on her door, he heard a sound that he vowed to never hear again…

Vanya's cries…

To this day, the sassy teen remembered the first time he heard her heartbreaking sobs. It felt like someone got lucky enough to get a clean on him and repeated those punches. His chest tightened whenever he recalled that "lovely" memory so vividly.

Not wanting to put him and Vanya through this horrendous torture, Five barged right in and slammed the door shut, uncaring if that were to alert his other siblings. If anything, he prayed that they heard, so they could see what their cruel acts and words had done to his Vanya.

No one would be allowed to cause her tears – and this time – he'd do a fucking better job at protecting her.

She'd never have to go through with this alone ever again.

Without saying a word, Five rushed to her side and kneeled in front of her. Just like when he grew enough balls to rest his hand on top of hers, he did it again. His hands grasped hers just as a few tears landed on his hot skin.

His jaw tightened. Her lips quivered. Love and concern flashed in his eyes while hers remained shut as tears continued to fall. She hated herself for reaching this breaking point but after seeing Five and hearing his voice, she just broke. All of her inner desperate pleas came rushing out the gates in the form of sobs.

She _hated _having to pretend that there's nothing between them. No friendship. No adoration. Nothing. Not even a blossoming love that'd be considered taboo in the public eye. She had been forbidden to interact with him. Her one source of happiness.

She absolutely despised it, but if it meant that Five would be one step closer to his potential, then so be it. Strangers they would be.

"Vanya…" Her mind registered the softness in his voice. No. No. No. He shouldn't be in here. If their father caught them – together – like this, then there'd be Hell to pay. No. Five had to leave.

Choking back a few of her sobs, Vanya controlled her breathing, though it's proven difficult. Her breathing had become incredibly sporadic. Wild.

"You…have…to…go…" She managed to say even though it's painful to do so.

Five looked taken back. Hurt burned in his eyes. Why was she shutting him out? Just like how she's there for him, he's there for her. He'd be her support whenever she felt like giving up.

She had constantly reminded him that she's there for him. No matter what.

Now…

It's his turn…

Gently wiping away the tears with his thumbs, Five allowed his hands to remain on her face. His eyes studied her facial expression, also noting her body language, allowing it to relax just a bit before speaking again. He didn't want to trigger her again.

"Vanya…" He began; his voice almost a whisper, "Talk to me. What's on your mind?" He asked, concern dripping on every single word.

Vanya remained silent, slightly leaning against his touch. His cold hand felt nice against her warm cheek. Her gaze studied Five's face, noting how scared yet concern he was. This would be the second time she had seen that gaze. The first time was when he had found her crying her eyes out after she had yet again been ridiculed by her "loving" siblings for being plain. For being boring. She had tucked herself away inside the garden, that's placed on the roof, and decided to drown out her tears – her sorrows – with her violin. Though, the moment she did, Five managed to find her with ease. His protective instincts were at an all time high after he overheard Diego and Luther saying horrendous things about her, while Allison, Klaus, and Ben laughed. They didn't bother coming to her aid.

"Assholes…" He called them as he teleported to wherever Vanya held herself up. While, it took several spatial jumps, Five eventually popped up beside her, accidentally freaking her out and causing her to scream. His ear drums were damaged for a few days after that, but he didn't pay attention because Vanya smiled as she laughed at his face. The snarl and glare on his face for some strange reason was incredibly hilarious in her eyes. Her laughter was highly addicting to the point that Five did everything and anything to recreate that. In that afternoon, he had the chance – the opportunity – to see a carefree Vanya. A side of her that he hadn't seen in a long ass time.

Now, here he remained kneeling in front of her, offering words of comfort as he did almost everything to get his sweet Vanya to crack a smile. He'd even asked her to play her favorite musical piece for him, but Vanya simply replied with,

"Maybe later…my heart isn't into it right now…"

Five, then in response, nodded as he said, "Understandable. Sometimes I wish I had that luxury."

Vanya sniffled, "What do you mean?"  
"Just that," He began as he finally stood up, stretching his leg muscles. Then, he took a seat next to her and wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders, "You don't realize this, Vanya, but you're lucky. You have these amazing chances of taking breaks. Doing everything and anything that your heart desires." A long sigh escaped his lips, "While with me and the rest of the crime fighting siblings, we don't. It's training from sunrise to sundown. And when we're not training, then it's those stupid, annoying missions," He absentmindedly pulled Vanya closer. Her head now rested against the crook of his neck, "While, yes, with our abilities, taking down the bad guys is like an afternoon stroll at the local park. However, doing the same thing over and over gets redundant. Basically boring." He finished his speech before placing an innocent kiss on her head. Innocent enough it could be seen as an act of sibling love in case their father so happened to stumble on them. With their luck, he'd be right around the corner. Seriously. It's like Reginald had installed sensors on Vanya's door and Five's, alerting him of their so called "canoodling".

Just thinking about the old man's lecture frustrated Five to the point that his jaw clenched slightly. Everything that old man did only fueled Five's innermost hatred towards him.

But that's not important right now. Vanya's important and would always be important to him.

Gently rubbing her arm, Five and Vanya remained silent, enjoying each other's presence. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, Vanya pulled back and created some space but not too much since Five still wanted to hold her. Like a little child clinging onto his or her favorite object. An object that gave him or her a sense of security.

That was Vanya. She was his sense of security. She kept his sanity intact while they both lived in that dysfunctional home.

"Thank you, Five." She said softy with a sweet smile.

One corner of his mouth titled up. Five displayed his signature smirk. A smirk he had developed only for her but not to be confused with his condescending smile. That smile was reserved for his other siblings, minus Ben. Well. It depended if he partook in the ridiculing of Vanya, then, he'd that smirk and his wrath.

But most of the time, it's usually Diego, Luther, and Allison that got it. How fitting since it's the top three soldiers in their odd army.

Soon, his smirk grew into a smile. Then, a sweet and light kiss was placed on Vanya's forehead.

"Anytime, Vanya. You just need to remember that you're never alone, especially when you think you are. You're not. You'll always have me." He said just as an alarm went off. Time for dinner. With one final reassuring squeeze on her shoulder, Five stood up and then offered his hand. Vanya smiled brightly and placed her hand into his. The moment he felt her hand, he quickly interlaced their fingers. He'd never grow tired with how well their hands molded together.

Recently, they had started to hold hands but only when they're alone and certain that no one would catch them. One of the many risks that Allison had warned him about months prior. If only her concern lasted, especially towards Vanya.

But…oh well…

"So, I'm thinking of asking dear old dad about time-travel again." He stated, stuffing his free hand into the pockets of his shorts.

Vanya's forehead creased. Her jaw tightened slightly. She knew that Five wanted to time-travel, but he never got any practice because their dad would always reject his request. Today, she knew that it'd be his breaking point if their dad were to say no to Five's request again. And knowing Five, she knew that he'd give in to his short-temper and do something irrational.

Then, she'd be left all alone…

"Are you sure that's a wise decision? I mean what if he says no?" She asked, stopping right near the stairway but out of sight from the views of their siblings.

Five sighed, closing his eyes for a moment, "If he says no, then I don't know." He turned his head towards Vanya, "I'm tired of being told that I'm not ready, especially since I've been practicing those stupid spatial jumps like he told me to. I even managed to work out those pesky equations. Like, what more does he want from me?" He ranted; his voice gradually increased in pitch.

Vanya frowned, squeezing his hand in an act of comfort.

"I know but maybe he's right. Sure, his explanation can be a tad nicer but perhaps he's onto something. What if you do manage to successfully time-travel but end up somewhere and have no means to come back." She stated, voicing her worries.

Five cupped her cheek, gently caressing it, "That's not going to happen, Vanya. After all, I have you waiting for me back here so of course, I'm going to come back. I just want to see if I can do it. Even if it's a tiny jump in time, I just want to see." Then, he unlaced their fingers and pulled her into a warm and loving hug, "Then, with more practice, I'll take you with me, and we'll be far away from here. No more siblings who bully you. No more dad that constantly berates you for being ordinary. None of them. It's just going to be the two of us." He told her, soothing away her worries. Though, she had a point. What if he were to get stuck in a time with no means of getting back? God. Just the mere thought of Vanya growing up without him scared him. Instilled a fear within his mind. Yet he had to push them away. He needed to do this. To try. Then, his future could officially begin.

With one final squeeze, Five released his hold on special violinist. He flashed her a reassuring smile as if he'd told her to not worry about him nor say a word during dinner.

Just as he turned towards the stairs, he felt a tug on his sleeve. He peered down and saw Vanya's hand stopping him.

He raised a brow, "What's wrong?"

"Promise me something."

"Anything."

"Promise me that if you were to get stuck somewhere with no means of getting back, then you'd find a way to come back to me."

Five's breath hitched. She didn't need to tell him that. He already knew. He'd do anything and everything to get back to her. His sole reason of even endearing the constant training and annoying siblings that he cared for here and there.

"Promise me, Five."

"I promise you, Vanya Hargreeves, that I'll do everything in my power to come back to you."

Sadly…

Just like any other promise…

It was made to be broken…

"Okay. I'll be holding you to that, sir."

"You wound me, dear…"

* * *

**A/N:** Wow! This one is a tad longer than my previous one shot! I just had so much fun writing this one, especially since it kind of goes along with the dinner scene during the flashback scene of episode 2 of the series. I just like how Young Vanya shook her head and then look upset/shock to see Five run out. And then the whole Five screaming out Vanya's name first? Yeah. I just had to write a little something that could add to the fan theories/explanations as to why Five screamed out her name first. Anywho, now that this is done. I'm thinking of doing like a mini-series! Maybe even ask you guys to comment something you'd want to see Five x Vanya do behind closed doors. A funny idea I have right now is Five, giving in to his big ego, proving that he's the better protector than Luther, and the two have this weird competition while Reginald is away. So that should be fun!

**disclaimer:** Now, I'm fully aware of the discourse between whether the Hargreeves are considered to be engaging in incestuous relationships or not (I especially acknowledge the arguments coming from people who are indeed from adopted families). I also know that the fandom will always be divided because of it so please do not send any hate comments on this story. If it is not your cup of tea, then do not read it. Simple as that. Anyway, I hope you guys like this!

Don't forget to hit that follow/favorite button and/or leave a review on your thoughts! I love hearing them! :)

\- Kim


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